November, 2023
<aside> 👋🏽 Hello everyone,
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I haven’t written in a while and I’m not sure if I missed it but I have been in a place where I have really been feeling the Father’s love in an overwhelming way and I just wanted to share it.
Ideally, I want everyone to experience this love. In a perfect world, I want everybody to realise and see the amazing love of Jesus.
When I tell you Jesus is my lover, I mean that in every sense, I’m so in love with Jesus. He’s so kind, so thoughtful, so intentional, so brilliant, so loving, so tender, so compassionate, just perfect.
Sometime, last year I was really struggling with love. I was expressing a love that was not deeply rooted and almost fakelike if I may say so myself. I was expressing this type of love to both Jesus and my neighbours at the time. A love that stored hurt, a love that wasn't with depth, and because of how self aware I was, I knew this was not the authentic love, God desired of me. You know the compassionate full love that does not exalt itself in anyway? I certainly didn’t have that. The type of love in 1st Corinthians 13:4-8 was absent in my life.
So, like everything in my life, I took it to God I begged him to teach me love, teach me how to love like there’s no record of hurt in my heart. I prayed to the Lord, “Teach me to love like you love, even though I’m man, you built me to love, those are your two most important rules and I just want to have a loving heart towards you and every single person around me and even those far away”
And just like that the father began to prune my heart, he’d have me pray for people that offended me, give to people I thought at the time didn’t deserve it, he’d have me bridle my tongue and not gossip, he’d have me show little acts not only towards my family but towards everyone at large without thinking of any reward at all.
Before, he did all these, loving myself and seeing myself through the lens Jesus sees me was paramount, obviously I couldn’t give to people what I couldn’t give to myself. I mean “love your neighbor as you love yourself” He taught me to see my self the way he sees me. He sees me as royalty, not in the self aggrandising way, but humbly realising I am the daughter of a king!
The father loves you without you loving yourself, it hurts him that you don't see yourself the way he sees you. I struggled with this, believing that God loved me despite everything, believing that saw me just like Jesus. It was only until this year that it became so clear, you know this song Rescue by Lauren Daigle, when she sang that God would send an army to find you in the middle of the darkness, God did exactly that. I’m his sheep and he found me and redefined my identity, untold every single lie that the devil told me, he reminded me who I am. He loves me, so much! He adores me. I am his baby, the apple of his eyes, now all that matters to me is all he thinks of me. I love the Lord so much. He is a very present father, a present husband. A thoughtful King. I thank him for teaching me love, showing me what true love is. I thank him for never giving up on me.
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a (ESV)
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.